Tell me no, I say yes, I was chosen

burn_to_emerge @ 2008-07-03T06:27:00

2008-07-03T11:19:19Z

Title: Allons-y
Author: burn_to_emerge
Rating: G
Series: The Colbert Report, Doctor Who
Characters: The Tenth Doctor, Stephen Colbert
Summary: Stephen finally finds someone to fill the spot of "Best Alien Friend".
Warnings: Spoiler Alert: Stephen Colbert's a bit of a geek. Also, there's this guy called the Doctor. He's pretty awesome.
Word Count: 374
Author's Note: Someday I will write something that isn't crack. Today is not one of those days.

Disclaimer: Any similarity between the fictional version of the person portrayed here and the actual persons is purely coincidental. This is a work of fiction. This is not an attempt to defame the character of said person on the basis of libel, as the work is fictional (and not an intently false statement created with the express purpose of misleading others about the actual character of said person).

It probably says bad, incredibly geeky things about Stephen that his initial reaction is a feeling of disappointment. The Fifth Doctor had always been his Doctor, after all, even if David Tennant greatly appealed to Stephen’s inner myopic fanboy.

Stephen’s second reaction is the equally irrational hope that there won’t be too much running, in whatever is about to happen. Pilates can only do so much for a man in his mid-forties.

It’s only after an embarrassing amount of time staring at the tall, skinny man in the pinstripes- who is still talking- that he thinks to wonder how exactly Alison (or, more likely, Jon) got a hold of David Tennant and got him to agree to this.

“Haha, very funny,” Stephen says, looking around for any hidden, giggling co-workers. He doesn't see any, but it gives him the opportunity to school his face into something that hopefully resembles good-natured humor. Unfortunately, when Stephen turns back, he's pretty sure it's still hovering around childish awe, now accompanied by a healthy amount of embarrassment. He nods towards the TARDIS. “Nice prop. That can’t be the real one, can it? Too fragile.”

David Tennant follows Stephen’s gesture, then turns back, a befuddled look on his face.

“Ah, that’s… not a prop,” he says, in the Estuary accent he uses for his character. In-character or not, Stephen doesn’t particularly appreciate the slightly condescending tone. “That’s my-” He stops, looks Stephen up and down, then grins disarmingly. “2008, right? That’s my ship.” A loaded pause, during which Stephen seriously contemplates murdering Jon. Then, with a smirk: “Bigger on the inside.”

Stephen arches an eyebrow, feeling himself start to naturally slip into character, a self-defense mechanism that, at the moment, he appreciates. If the other man is so determined to milk the joke for all it’s worth, so be it. Stephen has never been very good at playing the straight man.

David Tennant takes the sonic screwdriver prop out of some inner pocket, and heads towards the nearest exit. And then a large, neon green creature that looks alarmingly like a bear crashes through the opposite wall.

Yes, Stephen notes, in what is probably the most inappropriate reaction so far: this is definitely better than getting Captain America's shield.

WTH, Mom?

2008-06-23T13:25:24Z

My mom is the most passive-aggressive human being on the planet. I know most people say this, but right now I am completely convinced that it is true.

My school called this morning saying that there's going to be an award show at 6 tonight, and that I'm receiving an award. Naturally, I don't want to go. I'm tired, and it's SUMMER, and it's going to be one of those bullshit things where I sit and am bored and there's crappy food and boring speeches. Also, I honestly don't see what kind of award I could get other than these ridiculous REACH awards my school gives out, that show you to be a good "citizen of AGL High School" and mean nothing. But my mom is oddly excited about it. I'm not sure exactly what kind of award she thinks I could get, but she's brimming with excitement.

When I tell her I don't want to go? She reacts in a manner completely disproportionate to the situation. For example, she managed to make a correlation between me not attending the stupid ceremony, and me not getting into a good college. Okkkkaaaaay.

There was some arguing on my part over the logic of this, some throwing around of blanket statements, and finally my mom ended with this gem:

"Okay, fine. I am washing my hands of college, if that is your attitude. You can get the money, you can apply yourself..."

WTF, mom? Overreaction, much? There is such a thing as a happy medium. For instance, I could have little to no school spirit, but still care about my education. In fact, cut the "for instance". That is exactly where I am.

So she "drops the argument", by which I mean she walks around muttering loudly.

"Well, maybe you're really doing something magnanimous and important on the computer instead of 'wasting your time' going to the ceremony. Faaar be it from me to make a judgement." Okay, first of all, usually when someone makes a statement like that, they are fucking making a judgement. Second of all, I don't think magnanimous was the appropriate word choice. I never claimed to be finding a cure for AIDS, here. And third, since when do I have to be something vitally important? My original claim to her was that I wouldn't enjoy the awards ceremony. And I do enjoy the internet, thank you very much.

burn_to_emerge @ 2008-06-20T12:25:00

2008-06-20T16:29:22Z

*small flail*

So after I finally got a paid account, I've revamped my layout, finally got myself an appropriately geeky header, and gleefully uploaded icons.

So.... just wondering. Who House do you think the fakenews guys would be in? Just...you know, hypothetically. *shifty eyes*

burn_to_emerge @ 2008-06-18T02:20:00

2008-06-18T06:38:11Z

Title: Love and Marriage
Author: burn_to_emerge
Rating: PG, maybe PG-13 for vague sexual references to be REALLY safe.
Series: The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.
Pairing: John Oliver/Everyone, but mostly John/Stephen Colbert, and John/Jason Jones
Summary: John is gay for America. And for just about anyone in it, if they can get him what he wants.
Warnings: Spoilers for last night's (June 17th) episode. Also, crack-fic, written in about an hour and therefore un-beta'd.
Word Count: 826
Author's Note: Everyone here is in-character. So not just "Stephen" as opposed to Stephen, but John Oliver's on camera persona, as well as Jon's, Jason's, etc. Also, my first fic. *small celebration*

Disclaimer: Any similarity between the fictional version of the person portrayed here and the actual persons is purely coincidental. This is a work of fiction. This is not an attempt to defame the character of said person on the basis of libel, as the work is fictional (and not an intently false statement created with the express purpose of misleading others about the actual character of said person).

John is having a bad day.

Jason had refused to respond to John’s half-hearted apologies, which had quickly turned into accusations. (Non US-citizens should always come with a nice, friendly warning label in the form of a foreign accent. A warped pronunciation of the letter o does not count.)

Now, John Oliver and Jason Jones are the first in the state of California to get a gay annulment (capacity issues, John had said icily, while Jason sobbed in the corner).

John feels drained from the engagement sex, and the post-wedding sex, and the annulment sex. Also, jetlag. But he’s already taken time off for the honeymoon, and he simply refuses to go back to New York unmarried. Question is: who does he know in California?

---

“Not a network show, am I right.” It isn’t a question. John sits across from Ed Helms at an inexplicably neon restaurant. The other man is wearing an argyle sweater vest, too much fake tanner, and sunglasses, even though they are indoors.

“No, no it’s not. Comedy Central.” A furrow appears between Ed’s eyes, and John thinks fast.

“But-- but you don’t have to work there again. I’m not certain we even have to live together.”

Ed looks thoughtful, or possibly just hungry. In California, apparently, a plate of celery has replaced the traditional bread basket. “What’s your name?” the other man asks finally.

“John.”

Ed stares at John for a full minute, expression inscrutable behind those dark glasses. John can see his own face reflected in them, pale and nebbish. Then Ed breaks into an alarmingly wide smile, jerking forward as though controlled by a puppeteer to punch John in the shoulder.

“OH! Jon Stewart, of course man! You-- you look great!”

---

John is unable to get past Steve Carell’s security guard.

---

“Hello?”

“Jon, listen-”

“No.”

“No what?” John whines petulantly.

“No, I will not marry you. I’m happily married and straight and your boss.”

John huffs into the mouthpiece, hoping the exasperation and disapproval will come across over the phone. “That’s ridiculous. Why would I want to marry you?”

“Um….” Jon is clearly baffled, poor thing. He just doesn‘t seem to know when no means no. “Then what….?”

John takes a breath, and feels himself reflexively blush and look towards his feet, despite the direness of the situation- and the fact that Jon can’t see him. “I was actually going to ask you for Stephen Colbert’s number.”

Jon is silent for so long that John checks to see if his battery’s died. “I…no. That’s not a good idea,” his boss says finally.

“I know, I know, you think I should spend some time getting to know him first,” John says over Jon’s feeble protests. “But I went on his show and everything. Stephen‘s never invited you,” he adds smugly. “Years knowing him, and you still have to crash his tapings.”

“We talk at the hand-offs,” Jon mutters defensively, and John shakes his head. Poor, naïve Jon Stewart.

But John doesn‘t have time to soothe Jon‘s surely crushed spirit; he‘s too busy planning the wedding. He knows from reading Wigfield that Stephen would make a lovely bride, but John has always fancied himself in heels. Also, he doesn’t think he can carry Stephen over any threshold. He tunes back in just in time to hear Jon suggest Aasif Mandvi as a potential husband.

John makes a vague noise that he hopes is read as “not my type” and not “he laughed at me for hours when I asked.”

“Rob Riggle.”

“He would snap me like a twig.”

“John Hodgeman.”

“Dead-eyed and possibly soulless.”

“A woman.”

“Don‘t be stupid.”

“Rob Corddry.”

“Bald.”

“Demetri Martin.”

“Jon!” John is appalled. “I may not be a US citizen, but I refuse to stoop to pedophilia.”

“Demetri is four years older than you,” Jon says blandly.

“Really,” John murmurs thoughtfully, then shakes himself out of it. “No, Jon, I am certain of my decision. Stephen has always been a caring individual”- Jon makes a noise of patent disbelief- “He was thoughtful enough to leave the zip open an inch on the suitcase so I could breathe… and then kept kicking me during the taping, to make sure I was all right.

“And when he pulled me out of that suitcase by my hair… he knew just how much roughness I like!”

Jon makes a sound like a mouse being trodden on, which John writes off as another curse of old age, and keeps talking.

“And he smelled like apple pie. I told him so and he quoted Shakespeare at me,” he says happily. “It was very romantic.”

“Knowing Stephen, it was probably the Bible,” Jon says, voice sounding gravelly and strangely choked.

John huffs out a laugh. “I think I can recognize the Bard when I hear him, Jon. Save your literary criticism for American Idol.”

Jon sighs, the sound loud in John’s ear. It sounds like victory. “This cannot end well.”

burn_to_emerge @ 2008-04-19T23:57:00

2008-04-20T04:03:05Z

Edward Norton is so amazing, you guys. He is such a chameleon of an actor, and he is just off-the-charts attractive in The Illusionist.

I honestly cannot stress the "chameleon" thing enough. I seriously went to the movies last night and sat through a 5+ minute trailer for The Incredible Hulk going, 'Wait...I know this guy. I KNOW this guy. Why does he remind me of someone's coked-out brother, and yet I kind of want to have sex with him?' I actually said to my friend, "Remind me to IMDB this movie later." She did remind me, and I felt incredibly stupid when I saw it was my beloved Edward Norton.

In case anyone cares, the movie I saw was "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" and it was amazing. I'm totally reminded of that Colbert Report interview with Judd Apatow when "Superbad" was coming out, and he said his goal was to show penis in a movie. Well, he succeeded. Congrats.

burn_to_emerge @ 2008-03-16T23:32:00

2008-03-17T03:33:25Z

I haven't written in ages, y'all. What the fuck is up with that?

Happy New Year! xD

2008-01-01T08:42:05Z

Happy New Year, everyone!

Anyway, for vague archive purposes, this is basically all I've written and "published"-e.g. put on the internet: here (Grey's Anatomy), here (Harry Potter), here (Dawson's Creek, and here (High School Musical).

Prompt Table

2007-03-27T06:06:59Z

I really need a life....In my defense, I'm recently become obsessed with drabbles, and the same with Dawson's Creek, so...it's like killing two birds with one stone. Smart I am.

Anyway, all of these are drabbles, so exactly 100 words, most will reference Pacey/Joey, and I'll try to have all of them named after movies, in keeping of what Williamson did in season 1. We'll see, though.

001.	Toast	002.	Bread	003.	Church	004.	Belief	005.	Eternal
006.	Soul	007.	Babble	008.	School	009.	Education	010.	Fireflies
011.	Bodies	012.	Nature	013.	Hero	014.	Complications	015.	Decisions
016.	Choice	017.	Heartache	018.	Space	019.	Empty	020.	Promise
021.	Candles	022.	Incense	023.	Magick	024.	Witch	025.	Teacher
026.	Lessons	027.	Driving	028.	Winter	029.	Summer	030.	Autumn
031.	Spring	032.	Ritual	033.	Hairbrush	034.	Contact	035.	Touch
036.	Taste	037.	Smell	038.	Vision	039.	Sound	040.	Danger
041.	Knife	042.	Gun	043.	Bunnies	044.	Fear	045.	Cows
046.	Brain	047.	Sky	048.	Universe	049.	Otherworld	050.	Parallel
051.	Monsters	052.	Cooking	053.	Justice	054.	Sleep	055.	Web
056.	Dream	057.	Nightmare	058.	Shooting star	059.	Morality	060.	Tangle
061.	Sin	062.	Inevitable	063.	Balance	064.	Nobility	065.	Alone
066.	Emotion	067.	Disappear	068.	Shadow	069.	Echo	070.	Hot
071.	Cold	072.	Warm	073.	Past	074.	Mutiny	075.	Future
076.	Present	077.	Christmas	078.	Birthday	079.	Night	080.	Day
081.	Sunshine	082.	Dawn	083.	Moonlight	084.	Dusk	085.	Child
086.	Birth	087.	Weapon	088.	Fight	089.	Blood	090.	Shut up
091.	Vengeance	092.	Ruined	093.	Regret	094.	Silence	095.	Found
096.	Writer's Choice.	097.	Writer's Choice.	098.	Writer's Choice.	099.	Writer's Choice.	100.	Writer's Choice.

Grey's Anatomy- George/Izzie

2007-03-27T02:22:32Z

Title: Love Like Laughter
Rating: G/PG
Spoilers: It's only implied, but through the latest episode
Summary: Izzie reflects and tells the truth, if only to herself. Drabble.
Pairing: Izzie/George, Callie/George
Notes/Disclaimer: The title is from a song by Beth Orton. I don't own it, and I certainly don't own Grey's Anatomy.

Callie doesn’t look like she belongs with anyone like George. She has a seductive, brash quality that is just what the Mark Sloanes of the world need. People with egos the size of George’s enormous heart. When she laughs (which is rare) it is a loud, rolling laugh that echoes even in tiny spaces.

Izzie tells herself that she hates that laugh. What she really hates is George’s answering giggle, gleeful and quiet and lighting up his whole face. He’s drunk only on love and pure happiness that Izzie can‘t seem to find, ten feet and miles away from him.

Book Meme!

2007-02-14T19:23:47Z

Bold the ones you've read, italicize the ones you want to read, ~~cross out the ones you won't touch with a 10 foot pole~~, underline the ones on your book shelf, and *asterisk the ones you've never heard of*. Color red the ones you have and started to read, but found it too bad/boring to finish.

I couldn’t pick a favorite on here, but I’ve just finished “The Lovely Bones” last night, and it’s amazing.

1. The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown)
2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)
3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)
~~4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)~~
5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien)
6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)
7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien)
8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)
9. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)*
10. A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)*
11. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling)
~~12.Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)~~
13. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)
14. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)*
15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)
16. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (Rowling)
17. Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald)*
18. The Stand (Stephen King)
19. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Rowling)
20. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)- I keep trying to read it, most recently after seeing the 2-part miniseries, but…bleh.
21. The Hobbit (Tolkien)
22. The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)
23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)
24. The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25. Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
26. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)
27. Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)
The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
30. Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
31. Dune (Frank Herbert)
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)
33. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
34. 1984 (George Orwell)
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36. The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)*
37. The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)*
38. I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
39. The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)*
40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
41. The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)*
42. The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)
45. The Bible.
46. Anna Karenina (Tolstoy)
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
48. Angela's Ashes (Frank McCourt)
~~49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)~~
50. She's Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)*
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens)
53. Ender's Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Dickens)
55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald)
56. The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)*
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)
58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)*
59. The Handmaid's Tale (Margaret Atwood)
60. The Time Traveller's Wife (Audrew Niffenegger)
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
62. The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
63. War and Peace (Tolstoy)- I'm ambliviant towards this one. On one hand, I have little desire to read it. On the other, it's a classic, so I feel that I should.
64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice)
65. Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)*
66. One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Ann Brahares)
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)
69. Les Miserables (Hugo)
70. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
71. Bridget Jones' Diary (Fielding)
72. Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)*
73. Shogun (James Clavell)*
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
76. The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)*
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78. The World According To Garp (John Irving)
79. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)*
80. Charlotte's Web (E.B. White)
81. Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)*
82. Of Mice and Men (Steinbeck)
83. Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)
84. Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85. Emma (Jane Austen)
86. Watership Down (Richard Adams)*
87. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
88. The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)*
89. Blindness (Jose Saramago)*
90. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)*
91. In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)*
92. Lord of the Flies (Golding)
93. The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)*
94. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
96. The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton)
97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)*
100. Ulysses (James Joyce)

I wish I'd never heard of The Fountainhead.

burn_to_emerge @ 2007-02-04T14:29:00

2007-02-04T19:35:44Z

Wow, haven't updated here in forever....

My new scheduale isn't as bad as I feared- I'm in advanced math and science (empowah!), and, other than English (shocking, I know) and gym (don't even pretend to be shocked) my grades have been good.

Mallory's being a bit whore-ish lately, which has prompted me to give her a small role in my NaNo project, as (*drumroll*) MALLORY! (So I'm not very imaginative with names.....)

...

All right. I tried to make it through a post without squeeing over Grey's Anatomy but, alas, I fear it will not be possible. Recent spoilers have put me through the roof, and although I'm not going to say anything outright, just for my uninformed friends, I will direct you to my usericon. *glances up meaningfully*

Um-- well, my life is sad enough that I have no more news. Well, I've preordered the Harry Potter book (July 21! WHOOT!) and have a hot date with Miles tonight (is it just me, but does Sunday evening not sound ideal for a date?), but other than that? Nothing going on.

Ta!

Sepia Panorama

2007-01-08T11:20:32Z

Title: Sepia Panorama (One-shot)
Author: burn_to_emerge
Rating: I suppose PG, unless you have an extremely low tolerance for angst.
Wordcount: 265
Characters: Remus, Sirius, mentions of James and Madam Pomfrey.
Summary: Through Padfoot's eyes, Remus is shades of sepia." Set when Sirius "lies low at Lupin's".
Notes: This is my first Remus/Sirius fanfic ever, and also the first from Sirius' POV, so I would really appreciate feedback. *puppy dog eyes* This is mostly a gen-fic actually, although I (of course) see it through slash-coloured glasses.

---

Sirius shimmers into Padfoot before they sleep- it’s as much a part of their routine as brushing their teeth, or turning down all the lamps. Remus has never questioned the act; a gesture Sirius is glad of. The blankets are flannel, soft with too many washings, and his body heat mixes with Remus’ through the worn fabric.

As Padfoot, the fingers stroking his fur could be James’s; lying with him alone in the dormitory while Remus is holed up in the library- talking without speaking. Or they could belong to a teenaged Remus, ink-stained fingers and bony wrists, his other hand holding a book up to the light. The shadows in the back of his mind are nightmares of simpler times; of running away from home; of his first (failed) attempt at Animagus transformation- looking at the large black paw that capped off his very human arm, and wondering how on earth he was going to explain this to Pomfrey.

Through Padfoot’s eyes, Remus is shades of sepia, which seems to suit him more than colour does. The dusty grey of age- sections of his hair and the werewolf’s fur; old books and weariness and cold and lack of hope. The stone walls of Hogwarts. Remus' skin the days leading up to and directly after the full moon. The warm brown hues of chocolate and tea; coffee, which Remus hates but makes anyway, just for Sirius. Toast and patched robes. Parchment for the Marauder’s Map and the rich ink they‘d used in spelling it all together. Remus’ hair in the sunlight, when they were young.

burn_to_emerge @ 2006-11-01T19:38:00

2006-11-02T00:38:29Z

Why is it that as a sort of subconscious procrastination, whenever I need to write *a lot*, the only thing that runs through my mind is a song??

Well, anyway:

...you don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart....